SkyWatch: The Government!

    Ah, yes, so now we've come to that lovely time where I begin accusing the government of things and you have to choose whether to sit and listen or storm off and mutter under your breath about conspiracy theorists (just so you know, I think Oswald was the only one gunning for Kennedy that day, all right?).
    Because the government is involved, to some extent, with cattle mutilations, according to the theory behind curtain number three. 

 

    
    What evidence exists of that, you ask? 
    There is some, although maybe not so much as there is for, say, aliens, but then again, we all know how good the government can be at times at hiding things (and, at times, how much they can absolutely suck...but I digress).  However, not to swing you one way or the other, though some may claim that the government officials themselves are the ones chopping up the cows, I don't think that's so. My personal opinion is (and most of the evidence involving possible government involvement seems to point this way) that the government knows about who or what is doing these things and is either trying to investigate for themselves or are actively involved, for some reason or another, in a cover-up (not as dangerous as the one they tired to do over the whole Libya thing, but here I go again digressing...).  
    Above many of the areas where the mutilations were going on, there were unmarked black helicopters seen flying over, sometimes at altitudes that were strange or even illegal. Most report them as flying away when they were spotted, but sometimes they apparently shot at or "buzzed" witnesses. Evidence for this, however, is scant. Some scared ranchers started shooting at these helicopter when they saw them fly overhead--or, well, really, they shot at any unfamiliar helicopters they saw whenever cows started getting mutilated, which caused local officials all over the place to start ordering their helicopters to start flying higher to avoid getting hit in case they were shot at.
    Some also claim that this theory is supported by the fact that in Lincoln County in 1975, a blue satchel was found by a rancher near his mailbox (no word on if it came by certified mail or not--and do you send cow parts by first class mail or just on a regular truck?) that had no prints but contained a bloody scalpel and plastic artificial insemination gloves, along with a cow's ear and part of a tongue. The satchel, which was unmarked, was assumed to be government issue, even though that was never proven. The missing parts, as well, didn't match up with any mutilation reports that the local authorities knew of. CBI chief (wait for it) Carl Whiteside said it was passed on to another jurisdiction without an investigation--because whenever you find a bag of bloody cow parts you don't wanna know where it came from, right? That alone stinks...although it might be the cow's ear, you never know.
    Some have also claimed to have seen unmarked vans--the hallmark of covert (well, somewhat) government involvement--near the scenes of the mutilations and helicopter sightings and have reasoned that one and one and one is three. Does the presence of several vans mean that the government is involved? No. But it makes me think they sure are curious about something they claim was just, like, blackleg or coyotes, huh? 

"For the last time, IT WASN'T ME. Why do you keep accusing me? Why? Just because I'm a damn coyote I'm automatically guilty???"

    There's not much to definitively say right now that the government is or was involved in this whole bloody mess, so for now they won't be the focus of this arc. Instead, we'll be moving on to what I know you kids have all been waiting for: a very different kind of E.T. than you guys are used to. And, corny as it may be I just have to say it: This alien doesn't want to phone home. He wants your cow's udder.    
    For whatever reason.