SkyWatch: I Love it When I Make Things Easy for Me

    And I bet you guys love it when I make things easy for you, too, huh? I mean, after my last few posts nobody needs a long, sprawling rant about why there's no doubt in my mind (and the minds of many others as well, though no doubt theirs are wrapped in tinfoil at this very moment) that some form of unknown alien life is responsible for at least some of these mysterious mutilations; that information is peppered all throughout the previous posts. 

Note: Not an actual photograph of events, as far as I know.

    Yes, obviously, in some cases there can be an alternate, earthly explanation, such as disease, predation, random lightning strikes, and the intervention of some seriously sick humans. But what about the truly strange cases that seem to preclude any of these causes? The carcass found in a fresh mud puddle with no tracks anywhere around it? The carcass found in a tree, bones broken as if it had been dropped from a great height, with no clue as to how it could have gotten there without anybody seeing the crane/truck/Satanists/etc. that would have been needed to haul it? These, along with aspects of many other cases, seem to suggest that there are other, stranger forces at work here. Just to recap what was mentioned throughout the other posts:

• Many ranchers saw strange lights in the sky either just before or after a mutilation took place, and UFO sightings often increase in an area where mutilations have taken place (or are, considering that they continue today)
• Strange burns, as well as occasional traces of radiation, have often been found around or near the mutilated carcasses, as well as burn/cauterization marks on the carcasses themselves at temperatures that known technology can't reach and without causing cellular damage, which even with modern technology is physically impossible
• Neat, straight cuts of surgical precision have been found on many of the carcasses (maybe "surgical precision" isn't the right term for it, considering that when the marks have been examined by vets and plastic surgeons, they've been unable to replicate some of the marks both in technique and quality)--although who knows, they may be the work of a coyote with a medical degree
•  The lack of physical evidence left at the scene, whether it's the absence of footprints or tire treads; no blood left in the body, found on the wounds, or around the carcass at the scene; no bone fragments, which should have been spraying like sawdust as the mutilators took a bonesaw to ol' Bessie; or any clues as to how the carcasses that appeared to have been moved from wherever they were killed had been moved without anyone noticing, especially considering that some seemed to have been dropped from a great height, and even dragging should have left a clear trail--and would no doubt have taken some time to accomplish, heightening the chance that the mutilator(s) might be caught in the middle of the crime, yet none ever were

    Of course, many argue that the fact that just because the technology being used is nowhere close to what the public is aware of, that doesn't mean that we don't (as in, the government doesn't) actually have it, that it's just being kept secret from us and so is the purpose of whatever the government might actually be doing with these cows, whether it's related to warfare, scientific experiment, or something else, and I would have to say that yes, there probably is an element of the government at work here. However, I'm more inclined to go with the theory that the government is aware of the extraterrestrial cause of these incidents and working to keep that quiet--maybe to avoid mass panic, maybe in exchange for advanced technology and other scientific knowledge: Lose a few cows, gain a few alien warheads. I wouldn't put that past them. 
    Or, of course, there's another explanation out there that I don't think anyone has considered yet, the theory of my friend's that I promised to mention in a later post and I know you've all been waiting breathlessly for: vampires with laser vision. I mean, in a weird way, it does fit the profile. Vampires would be able to drain a heifer's blood without leaving any trace except the puncture wounds that have been found, and the laser vision takes care of the "where are these cauterized laser cuts coming from?" question; vampire super-strength would allow them to drag/drop/carry the cow over great distances rather quickly, as well. As for what a vampire might want with internal and external organs, well, that presents a bit of a problem--unless the vampire knows a werewolf with a really great souffle recipe that for some reason calls for cow udders and eyeballs. 
    Of course, that's probably not what's going on here, but hey. Suddenly aliens seem a little less unlikely, don't they?  
     Just remember: Never accept the generic explanation, especially if it comes from a man in a suit flying a helicopter. And never poke an elemental spirit with a stick. I've recently learned they don't really like that.